The Happy Client: Finding the perfect clients everyday

Hot'N'Scratchy.

As I'm eating my breakfast of coffee and granola bars, this is the only food-chain moniker I can think of that would provide healthy sustenance for the "on-the-go" worker.

And with more "muffin top" prevention that the Keebler Elf Human Resources Department (Hang in there, Elmer!), Realtors would be the perfect client for this business.

We would understand the long term and short term benefits of visiting Hot'N'Scratchy, what the competition offers (the elusive McRib), what we're going to need to do to get in line ($4.05 for a Groot, as we'd be going Dutch), and what a great outcome would be.

And it helps both sides. Nobody wants to be known as the client from hell, and no agent wants to push the "hater" button on their phone; you know the one that sends someone straight to voicemail so they know you've ignored their call?
Didn't know about that one?
Never mind, then.
They were probably going through a tunnel. In Iowa. Happens all the time.

My perfect client would be happy, open, optimistic, excited, curious, responsible, realistic, and a bit of a visionary. And alive. Very important on that last one, as the undead are sticklers for detail, and love to low-ball. And they torpedo property value in neighborhoods. But I digress.

The perfect client has to be happy, because we're about to go out and shop for their new home! Whatever has happened in the past that could be bringing them down, they've left it there, and are realizing today's a new day. I'm about to spend the next couple hours focused on your needs, you, you, you! It's like a spa day, but at the end, instead of some nice tea, YOU GET A HOUSE! Plus, it's your time off, and your time to be miserable while shopping was when you were 14, and all the Corey Haim/Feldman Trapper Keepers were already taken (c'est la vie). If you're a buyer, be happy that the market might be in your favor for the first time in five years, and that you've kept yourself financially stable enough to qualify for a loan that doesn't originate from a guy in a Yankees hat who "dabbles in insurance and the import/export" business?

The perfect client is happy to be seeing that there are options out there, or the potential for options. Yes, matching goldenrod sinks, stoves, and fridges are a bit out-dated, and three inch shag carpeting wouldn't be as snazzy if it weren't purple, but the schools are great, the home is solid. And those things are replaceable, like a Menudo member, or the cheesy contractor who installed them in the first place.

And the perfect client is happy that there is someone in their corner on this one. And while the world turns, they're happy to have their own personal Sherpa making the lists, checking them twice, organizing a tour of eight homes, remembering there's a dog in the garage, bringing a first aid kit in case you don't. Someone willing to take every bit of stress out of it they can to make what could be a circus a beautiful Cirque du Soleil. But one of the family friendly ones. Not the ones that made my dad afraid of Vegas.

Tune in next time for why the perfect client is open and optimistic. I've combined the two to get points for alliteration. And if I see a chain of Hot'N'Scratchy's pop up locally, I'll be smiling.

Because I'm going to sue you, and retire at 36.